This is written for the husbands who don't get why they re wife is crying constantly, this is written for the daughters and sons who see mom or dad sad all the time, this is written for the friends who don't want to invite they re friend because he or she is a "Debbie Downer" . This is written for the people who say depression is for the weak and its just people feeling sorry for them selves. This is also written for the people who don't understand why anxiety "Just happens" Ive been in both shoes actually to not understanding to experiencing it and also being that person who needs to speak about it. I am that person who observes a lot since I was small , and for the past few years I see that a lot of people that suffer from anxiety or depression aren't really vocal about it reason being embarrassed or scared of what people might think or just being hush hush "feeling weak' or unfortunately those who don't acknowledge that there is something wrong which is sad because sooner or later they will have to face it whether it be now or later in life. Many of you who know me know that I am a big clown I love to laugh and make others laugh for goodness sake I was class clown of 2007 in high school Ive always loved that quality about me the ability to make people smile its something growing up that I have always been happy about making people smile, but that doesn't mean that I'm not going through something myself, I battle things as well just like everyone else some people are used to change but I am not. This year I got diagnosed with OCD something I guess Ive always had since I was younger but after having a family and dealing with everyday life situations some good days some bad days eventually it all hit me and from being working mom to stay at home mom adding another addition to our family it hit me in the face at once I was trying to be super mom and super wife all at once and it happens to some not all I had a mental breakdown I was tired I was sad I had no energy for those who haven't ever experienced depression I'm going to explain it the best I can to get a better understanding here it goes I remember waking up one morning and my vision was very hazy my hearing was not very good and crying literally crying the emotions I felt were horrible I felt so much pain not physically but emotionally I didn't understand why a week ago I was fine but now emotionally I was a wreck. I saw the world with no color what so ever nothing made me happy I literally was a walking zombie I'm one to appreciate the beautiful butterfly flying near the flowers and then.. it was just a bug ...it was the most ugliest feeling I could experience especially when your a parent because the last thing you want your child to see is mom sad. As a mom I felt so guilty I felt like a horrible person who I am I to feel like this blessed with so many things and feeling so sad at the same time I started to become paranoid thinking what if someone tries to kidnap my children or they get sick or someone hurt them my worries and thoughts were racing at 200 mph I couldn't stop them and it scared me imagine feeling scared sad frustrated no interest in absolutely nothing.. from being so outgoing to anti social Id wake up with panic attacks at two in the morning and felt like I had no one to talk too I felt lost which made me more emotional then Mom my super hero came at my side drove to me and slept with me and reassured me everything will be fine. Honestly if it wasn't for my parents pushing me I don't know what I would do she took care of me and told me this was temporary and I have children to take care of and everything will be OK. My Dad would stop what he was doing and go on walks with me and the kids and be my therapist and help me fight those worries it hit me I had been taking care of others that I stopped taking care of myself for a long time and it hit me all at once I fought everyday and went to therapy and yes I struggle with my anxiety still but Ive learned its something I have to manage with exercises, diet, meditation and journals its helped so much I'm very open about my mental health and not ashamed I tell my friends and I check up on them as well your going to run into people like I said that don't get it or understand it whats so ever many are quick to judge all I can say is Let them.. and "let it go" my new motto is "shrug your shoulders and walk away" learn to take care of yourself because at the end of the day in order for you to hang with your friends or take care of the kids you have to be well I know those who have been at my side and I'm forever grateful for those people you know who you are, but for those who are reading and don't get it know that its something that your loved one or friend is battling and sometimes cant fight know its something hard know that its emotionally painful and they need support know that a simple what can I do to help will make such a big difference know that being by they re side and showing them that you are there is a big help or even listening to what they have to say and giving a big hug and reassuring them its going to be OK many have it harder than others but dont give up on them I see this picture all over social media and I think its something everyone should stop and read "be kind everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about " theres so much more I can say about it but honestly its hard to explain just know its something that is so painful and if your that friend or family member who still doesn't get it after reading this please give them a hug and say nothing listen and don't judge I hope this helped a little and its something Ive been wanting to talk about for so long know that you are stronger than you think to the people that struggle daily and your important and we are all put on this earth for this reason.. YOU ARE LOVED... remember that
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